Bumps and Bruises

When you train jiu jitsu or any other combat sport bumps and bruises are a constant. Occasionally I'll even sport a busted lip or injured finger that needs taped up. Sometimes I have straight up hand print bruises on my bicep or forearm from no gi grappling and self defense class. Abrasions on the neck are not out of the question when its collar choke week. Anyone who has ever attended a Shivworks class knows all about the sweet quarter sized wound on the forehead. Guys, amiright????

Generally I am proud of my bumps and bruises. They are badges of honor from a hard training session and make me feel like a badass. When I first started bjj I would compare bruises with my training partners and show them off to my coworkers and non bjj friends. Even if they didn't care I was going to show them. I mean what good is being a boss if you can't hold your employees hostage and tell them about how you got banged up being punched while stabbing a person in the face?

This is totally fine and acceptable behavior in the gym or around other people in the know but it's another story when you have to deal with the public daily. As a retail manager I have to take care to try to hide my injuries. Most of the time it's easy with appropriate clothing but other times, not so much. Like when the air conditioning was on the fritz I wasn't about to wear long sleeves. There's next to nothing you can do to hide a busted lip. 

As a result I've gotten quite a few sympathetic glances when a customer spies a hand print shaped bruise on my bicep or the busted lip I am currently sporting. I know what they are thinking. I have to bite my tongue to avoid giving an explanation to every single customer. 

I have yet to figure out a solid strategy to deal with this. Right now I just focus on not to reverting back to my introvert ways when I'm self conscious. Instead I make an effort to hold my head high with my shoulders back, make eye contact and engage the customer in conversation. Sometimes I throw in a comment to a coworker about working on chokes in class tonight or something along those lines ;) That helps. This reminds me that I need to grab more fliers for Stout Training Pittsburgh to keep on the counter as well.

Felicia Oh wrote an article called Battered and Bruised on this topic as well where she had a few clever t shirt ideas. This past week I thought that a pin saying "you should see the other guy" or something along those lines could have came in handy. I'd love to hear other women's perspective and experience with this. Do you use makeup or adjust your wardrobe or do you even care? 

Beginning Lifting, a Female Perspective

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Disclaimer: I am not an expert nor do I claim to be. The following post is my personal experience as a female starting weight lifting. Your experience may differ.

I've bought into a lot of fitness myths in the past. Stay away from carbohydrates and fat, do tons of cardio to lose weight, high reps with low weight gets you toned...the list goes on and on.

Most of these mantras have turned out to be bullshit that wasted my time and energy. The latest one I have discovered to be bullshit is that lifting heavy makes women bulky.

A couple months ago my husband, who owns Antifragile Training brought Larry Lindenman to Pittsburgh to teach a workshop on starting a strength and nutrition program focused for sports. I'm a weakling and strength is one area of my jiu jitsu game that is definitely lacking.

Larry talked extensively on different myths and assured that women who lift heavy are physiologically incapable of getting bulky without performance enhancing drugs. Hell, it's hard enough for men to get bulky when they are deliberately trying to. 

It took me a few weeks after the seminar to mustered up the courage to give it a try. I downloaded the StrongLifts 5x5 app and asked my husband to assist me the first time to ensure that I was doing everything right. That was 12 weeks ago.

So what has my experience been like so far? Have I turned into She Hulk yet? Of course not! Not that that would be a bad thing...she is pretty darn sexy...

That first day was hard. Even in the privacy of my own home with my totally non judgmental husband I was embarrassed by just how weak I was. I awkwardly struggled with that empty 45 pound bar. I was certain that I would not be able to put any weight on it. I couldn't even use the bar for the overhead press. I had to start out with a 20 pound dumbbell. 

My progress has been extremely slow, taking two steps forward then one back. I am constantly correcting and tweaking my program.

I started out lifting three times a week without cutting back on other activity. Quickly, I realized that I could not keep that up. I cut back to twice a week and ensured that I was taking at least one rest day with no other activity. 

After only a few workouts I thought that I had proper form down and the weight started to feel "easy" until suddenly, it was not. After videoing my squats I saw that I was not going low enough. Apparently, it is common to start compromising form as the weight gets heavier. I had to back down the weight and now I use a box so that I am always going low enough. The same thing happened with the rows and I have had to start doing them bench supported. This brings up another good point. Five pound increases are typically too much for women.

It was frustrating when I would successfully complete a 5x5 and then not be able to get 1 rep of the next weight. Upon thoroughly reading the Strong Lifts 5x5 guide I learned that because women have much less muscle mass, especially in the upper body, we should only go up by 2 pounds on bench, row, and overhead press. Now that the weight is pretty heavy on the other lifts I'm only increasing them by 2 pounds as well.

The guide has been very helpful, I recommend reading it thoroughly before beginning and referring back to it frequently. It could save you some of the aggravation I've had with doing things wrong, like breathing. Who knew I could screw up the most basic human function?!

For example, at the top of my squats I was taking a big breath, holding it on the way down then exhaling on my way back up. This is all wrong. You are supposed to take a big breath at top and hold it all of the way down and back up, exhaling at the top. I kept wondering why I was losing momentum on the way back up and my lower back was hurting...

Visually, my body has changed minimally. I have gained about 5 pounds but my measurements have not changed at all. I do notice that I am significantly more toned and tight. When I run there is way less jiggle. If I look really really hard I can see the vague outlines of muscles that were never there before.

Physically, the results I've seen in this short span of time have been nothing short of amazing. I feel much more confident doing anything in bjj that requires a squat like position (standing in guard, crowding my hips in,) have gotten numerous compliments on my strong elbows in bottom side control (a position I find myself in a lot,) and my grip strength has improved dramatically. 

OK. Now I'm going to talk about some stuff that only applies to us girls. I have had a few hormonal changes that I'm honestly not sure are related to lifting but feel need to be stated. 

When I first started lifting I was hungry ALL OF THE TIME! I have regularly dreamed about blueberry pie and Cinnabon. While I didn't over indulge I did eat more but did my best to keep it healthy (which is probably why I gained 5 pounds...) Luckily, my appetite has recently returned to normal.

I sometimes get much more intense emotions right after lifting. I have actually broken down in tears or gotten really angry about stupid shit. I have also noticed feeling more aggressive at jiu jitsu and in life in general. I don't now if aggressive is the right word, maybe assertive? Whatever, I don't care, all I know is it feels good :) 

My periods are much shorter. They used to last 5 to 7 days but are now just 2 or 3. I've read that this is common for females who are very active but you need to see a doctor if it stops completely.

Increased sex drive. Nuff said.

Jiu Jitsu and Mental Fortitide

If someone would have asked me what I liked about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu when I first started I really would not have known how to answer. From an outside perspective it probably did not look like I was having a good time.

I vividly remember my training partners pinning me in positions and me panicking in almost a black out state, totally spazzing. I would promptly forget the technique we had just drilled and revert to frantically flopping around like a fish out of water, sweaty and panting. I got my ass kicked every day and left physically spent and covered in bruises. I would wake up the next morning with my muscles so stiff and sore that I could barely move.

Despite all of that, I would wake up every morning with a new feeling of excitement, counting down the hours until that night's class. Work would crawl by and all I could think about was bjj. I couldn't wait to get on the mats every night.

To my surprise, even though I got beat up every day and never pulled off any technique, I never felt defeated. Actually, I felt empowered. Generally, I dislike the use of the word empowered because it has become so cliche. In this case though it is the most fitting word for how bjj makes me feel. Empowered means to "make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially with controlling their life and claiming their rights." 

What bjj did was prove that I could take a beating, both physically and mentally and not give up or give in. I discovered that I have mental fortitude much greater than I had realized. When put in a fight or flight situation I am going to fight. Every time. Not many people find this out about themselves and reaffirm it every day.

This mental fortitude goes beyond the mats and self defense, life or death situations.  At the most basic level jiu jitsu is a metaphor for life. 

When I get swept I try to land in the best position possible and work to better my position. If I've repeatedly tried a technique and it doesn't work maybe it's time to try something different. There is no "one size fits all" technique that is going to work for every situation every time; I have to adapt my game depending on the size, strength, and skill level of my training partner. 

I'm also never going to master everything. There will be some things I'm good at and some things I'm not. I will never be perfect and there is no finish line. It is a sport that is ever evolving and there will always be something new to learn. These are all lessons that are applicable to my daily life outside of the gym.

When I started bjj I was enduring a difficult time in my life. My son was entering high school, needing me less and less and I had closed a business that I had poured my heart and soul into for a number of years. I ended up taking a job making less money than I was before I started college. 

These things were a major blow to my ego. I had prided myself on titles and tied my self worth, happiness and identity to those titles. Jiu jitsu came into my life right on time. 

To paraphrase Tyler Durden, Jiu jitsu has taught me that I am not my job, I'm not how much money I have in the bank. I am not the car I drive. I'm not a number on a scale or the dress I wear to work.

I am a fighter.

How I Found Brazilian Jiu Jitsu

When hanging out with training partners the conversation at some point will always come around to how you got into bjj. I've been asked this multiple times but it's not until recently that I found myself telling the truth about how I got into it.

In the beginning I thought that I tried that first class to get my husband and his sister off my back. They had started it to complement their self defense training. At that point I sometimes carried a gun when I was traveling through a bad area. I took a few basic pistol courses and didn't see the need to do much more. 

I was in that class of women who are in denial of the real possibility that shit might go down. "We learned to watch our drinks at bars and walk home in pairs of two, we glossed over the hard stuff. We addressed how to try to avoid assaults; we never talked about what to do if we found ourselves in a fight for our lives." 

I honestly thought that if someone tried to approach or grab me I would just pull out my gun and it would scare them off.

One problem though was that carrying a gun was not always realistic for me. I was interested in carrying a knife full time but knew that I needed some training on deploying it without hurting myself. My husband suggested that I take In-Extremis Knife (IEK) with Craig Douglass. 

I think that class opened my eyes to the fact that just carrying a gun or knife and being aware of my surroundings is not enough. Reviewing videos from that class I can see just how far I've come. That was my first experience with force on force training. Following are the stand outs:

• I had a horrible stance, too upright and narrow.
• I couldn't judge the distance between myself and my attacker.
• I didn't keep my hands up to protect myself from blows to the head.
• My movement in general was too bouncy (that's something I still struggle with sometimes.)
• I had difficulties "cutting the angles," only having forward and backward movement.
• I would not have known what to do if I got knocked down.

I went away from that class feeling both accomplished and a little lost. I was proud of myself for just completing it. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done. I shy away from confrontation and that class put me right in the thick of it.

That class also made it clear that what I had learned and bought into up until that point would not work in a real life situation. It shook my confidence and I wasn't sure what to do about it. My husband kept suggesting that I try jiu jitsu. The thought terrified me.

Up until that point I had never participated in anything very physical. I was too self conscious. As a child I developed mild scoliosis which causes my right foot to point outward. It's only noticeable when I run. Children are assholes and they quacked like a duck at me when I ran in gym class. As soon as I realized I could skip or fake sick that's what I did.

Shawn is relentless though and was sure if I tried bjj I would like it. On his birthday almost 2 years ago (3 months after IEK) I finally gave in and agreed to try a class. I was certain that I would hate it.

So what happened at that first class?

I didn't hate it. I couldn't say that I liked it though either. It was one of the most exhausting things I had ever done and I sucked at it but the utility of bjj for self defense was undeniable. It teaches a smaller, weaker person to successfully defend their self against a larger, stronger opponent. 

It also helped that I felt welcomed by the ladies who were already there. I felt a part of right away and when I did something wrong (as we all do when we are new) they didn't make me feel stupid. They were patient and helped me learn.

A week later I found myself signing up at Renzo Gracie Pittsburgh. I was addicted.

Two years later I am a different person physically and mentally. At 34 I am in the best shape of my life. I have started lifting to get better at jiu jitsu and eat relatively healthy to perform my best.

I used to avoid confrontation at all costs. While I don't currently go out looking for a fight I can handle confrontations when they inevitably come up (I work retail...) The funny thing is that confrontations don't seem to come up as much as they used to. That is because I hold myself with an air of confidence, as someone who is not willing to be pushed around. 

Those are just a few of the many side effects that bjj has had on my life. I will be writing plenty of follow up posts on this topic in the future. Stay tuned.